Most Men Cheat – Get Over It

Okay, every woman on the face of the planet is going to hate me for saying this, but guess what… I don’t give a fuck. AT SOME POINT IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH A MAN HE WILL CHEAT ON YOU. Sorry to burst your bubble. I don’t care how much he loves you. I don’t care how much he values your company. I don’t care how much you do for him, he’s gonna stick his johnson into another woman’s va-jay-jay.
#KANYESHRUG

Don’t fret ladies. This does not mean your man doesn’t love you, nor does it mean he is drifting away. I’m convinced men have something built into their DNA that has them chasing pussy like a lose dog on the prowl. I’m also convinced, most men think they are doing you a favor by fucking other women. Hmph.

This may seem absurd, but I’m going to say it anyway. As long as that man is taking care of home, you have nothing to worry about. Let’s face it, fidelity is like a prostate exam or root canal to these guys. It’s almost painful for them to set there sights on one woman. So what are you going to do ladies? Be alone for the rest of your life? I don’t think so.

Men are labelled as the head of the household and/or relationship. Cool. Let them do that. Let them treat you like a Queen. Handle the finances. Lay that good pipe. And what do you do ladies? YOU put that man on a pedestal. Rub his back. Cook his food. And be that strong woman most men, especially our black men, need.

I can almost see the looks on my female audience faces. Yes, that man needs to be your king. If he is handling business, and handling you even better, what are you worrying about. I see it like this – if my man is slanging dick to other women, I better feel like he’s not. I don’t want any texts, phone calls, fb messages or tweets from your side bitch. You better be home when I expect you home, and keeping consistent. All dogs have fur, but not all dogs shed. Make sure your dog is not shedding.

Think about it. Be wise. If you leave a man for cheating, it better be because he keeps throwing the evidence in your face, not because you went out of your way to search through his PERSONAL devices to find shit. Truth be told, you deserve to find everything you were searching for the minute you decided to play Inspector Gadget.

Dating and the Workplace

What’s up, my loves? Lord, it’s summertime, and I haven’t been here since the snow was glistening with dirt, and I could make snow angels with a heavy breathe. Man, mother has been busy. Between being a full-time “boss” and full-time mommy, it’s hard finding time to do much else.

And speaking of boss, let’s discuss something that has been a major topic of discussion both at work, and in some personal circles – romantic relationships with coworkers. Usually, I am opposed to dating someone you work with. It just gets too sticky. You see this person everyday, which is cool- in the beginning. However, when the relationship starts to get a little seasoned, seeing that person everyday, all day, becomes very stale. I mean, there are other little factors that ward me away from dating within the office; like other coworkers nosing around in my business or having to work with someone that you weren’t quite compatible with, and you have to break it off. Yeah, #thatawkwardmomentwhen …

My biggest issue is running a perfectly good relationship into the ground with each others constant presence. Like I said, I was opposed to office dating. That was until, I started my current job. This job is unlike any other I’ve ever worked. There is a comradery in this office that you’d have to search high and low to find elsewhere. Also, we typically work 12 hours a day 6 days a week. And we work separately for at least 9 hours of any given day.

When I first started this here, I thought everyone was cutting it up. From the regional director, down to the secretary. EVERYONE WAS GETTING IT IN, in my opinion. After I started developing bonds with these people I realized what I took for sexual chemistry was a common goals and an unrelenting bond. HOWEVER, do I still think people in my office are fucking? Hell yeah, I do. There are just some things that are a little too fishy for the fish market in this bitch. I know some of my lovely comrades are skeeting all over this office.

Sunday is our only kick-it day. So, finding a mate outside the bounds of suite 1700 become a little difficult. A lot of people who don’t do what we do, won’t understand why we work so hard. Thus, sending some of my colleagues into each others arms. As for myself, I think I will still stay clear of the workplace romance, but hey, who knows….

Something Different: Music Edition

I love this track. I need some of you to turn your “nigga ears” off, and appreciate diversity.

Do What’s Best for You : Relationship 301: Rated PG-13

I have a cousin, who’s marriage is admired by almost everyone in my family. Many would refer to their relationship as the IDEAL relationship. The King of marital bliss, perhaps. Mothers will tell their daughters to find a husband like him, fathers will advise their sons to search for a woman like her. In our eyes, they treat each other like royalty; bearers of the throne. But, when the doors close, who knows what goes on? Who knows how many women he is sneaking into their bedroom? Who knows how much mad money she is stashing away? NO ONE; not a damn soul. I’m not saying this is happening, because as far I know all is well. That’s because I am not behind that closed door.

Stop looking at others to determine what you’d desire your relationship to be. That’s dumb, and may be practically impossible to accomplish. Let’s say said union is perfect (in a dream world). You are a fly on the wall in their homes, and all is well. Right? Right! They are the 2011 Partridge family, everything your heart desires. Why would you want to emulate someone else? Why wouldn’t you try to create a legacy of your own

If I HAD to pick a marriage I’d like my to imitate, it would be Martin and Gina, from the hit 90′s sitcom ‘Martin’. Why would you base your relationship off fictional characters? Because, I can see all the ins and out of their courtship. Nothing is hidden, nothing is left to the imagination. I don’t have to guess if he cross dresses on the weekend. It’s all laid out before me. And even in this instance, I still wouldn’t base my short comings and victories on the Paynes.

At the end of the day, base your relationship on YOU and YOURS, not THEM and THEIRS.

Nothing but L OV E
-Mother

He’s Just Not That Into You: Rated PG-13

I feel like it’s somewhat unnecessary to write this blog, but believe it or not, they’re women out there who don’t know when to throw the cards in.

I know I have spoken on actions speaking louder than words. I’m sure of it. I can sit up here telling you how much I love you all day, but if what I say doesn’t correspond with what he does, there’s a problem.

• He doesn’t call you like he should, he’s just not that into you.
• He never texts you back,he’s just not that into you.
• He claims he’s tired, yet he’s up on Twitter and Facebook pouring his heart out, he’s just not that into you.
• You can’t get any of his time, he’s just not that into you.

This list can go on forever. I’m sure some of you may have some things to add. At the end of the day, you need to let these men, who are blatantly ignoring you, go! You’re over here pulling your hair out, and he’s home with his feet cocked up, watching some game. Let him keep that game, and all the other games he’s playing.

Unfortunately, this trend will never end. There will always be women willing to overlook actions, and count on words. I am not pointing any fingers, I was once guilty. I think we all are, or have been. Nonetheless, we need to stop the cycle. You’re not macaroni and cheese, or a side salad, stop making yourself the option.

Nothing but L OV E
-Mother

Mother Jailed for Sending Children to Better School District

Please read the story before continuing on with the rest of this blog.

Now that you’re back, I REALLY hope you signed that petition. This woman is being jailed and fined for essentially wanting to provide the best education for her children. To add insult to injury, due to her new felon status, she can no longer pursue her dream of becoming a teacher ; at least not in Ohio.

If you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything. Come on people, most of us know this is far from just. We must take a stand for Ms. Kelly Williams-Bolar. If this were you, wouldn’t you want supporters and well wishers to unite for you?

This is not a black or white thing, this is a justice thing.Please repost this blog, and if you hate my blog, repost the link.

Nothing but L OV E
-Mother

Tweet Your Enthusiasm : Rated R

Twitter is a good avenue for comedic relief. If you want a good laugh, or even an “ah ha” moment, check your timeline. If it’s missing, you may want to reconsider the people you follow. Anywho, I have decide to compile a list of some recent tweets that have done it for me.

I am only adding their twitter names if their page is open. Private people will stay private, although your ratchetness should be exposed.

“if men were straightforward& truthful from the beginning they would avoid so much of our talking/annoying-ness.”

“#rulesforgirls a camels toe is only cute when you wear spandex. If you get one when you wear jeans, you need surgery” -@617Max

“If u love me after 2 weeks, in a year you’ll try to kill me if I left u.” – @SlickNyck

“LYRICwho_ RT @Dr_EZwider: Spell muthafuckin check RT @myyyJodi: RT @MR305don: Alotta niggas got female trates — Lmfao”

“Thank God for my musical talents. Cause I’d be sellin Dick to some rich white lady right now…hmmmm” – @TheBillyBANG

“My uncle sounds like Buju Banton…..he needs to never call me again. Strictly email/text.”

“But my ninja WHY do you smell like two boiled eggs”

“WHen a baby is born ugly, I believe it’s because both parents sined a lot.”

“I don’t trust anyone but my mother #random”

“Be careful when leaving your houses. I nearly busted my ass three different times. Matrix and all”

“RT @xVivaLaJuicyx: & smell like bologna RT @TheBillyBANG RT @SlickNyck I feel like white girls have clammy, dusty puss{cold cut though lmao”

“And now all these women think they have a benz punany… oh ok”

“I don’t think I could ever date a professional sports person. Me: athlete?!” (confused face)

“I eat ass like a main course…. Just dont shit first though.”

Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr: The Unending Fight. :Rated G

Today, we celebrate the birthday of one of the men who fought diligently for equal rights for blacks in this country. I don’t doubt that he knew from day one, that he’d die fighting freedom’s cause. He was a martyr, something that is extinct in today’s society.

I will not go into a long, drawn out, spiel about what Dr. King did for the civil rights movement. He is one black figure that I have known about since I was old enough to understand and relate. Dr. King had a dream. He did what he needed to do to fulfill that dream. Today, his dream has come true; kind of.

There is still so much for us to do. Do black children and white children go to school together? Yes. Does whites and blacks have to drink from separate water fountains? No. Can a black person and white person compete for a position in the same company? Yes. However, is it usually fair? Probably not.

Injustices still exist in our great American land. Since I was old enough to dress myself, my mother has been telling me that I would have to fight twice as hard, and work three times as much as my WASP counterparts. “America has given the negro people a bad check, a check which is marked insufficient fund.” Dr. King could haven’t said it better.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have come a LONG way, but we STILL have a long way to go. Things will never change when BART police officers can shoot a weaponless man in his back in broad daylight, and get of on involuntary man slaughter. Things will never be equal if Derrion Albert, a black honor student, could be beaten to death with little concern from the government, yet Elizabeth Smart, who is still living an breathing, is covered on MSNBC ,CNN, NYT and any news publication you can think of. Change and change makers need to be consistent.

My people, do not confuse Barack Obama with the new days civil rights leader. He is a politician. He may try to help the beaten and downtrodden, but at the end of the day you have to satisfy the majority. And we, my beautiful black kings and queens, are not the majority.

Keep in mind, no one owes you a thing. If you want something you have to fight for it.

Nothing but L OV E
-Mother

The Gritty New York City: Why are the Women so Mean? : Rated PG

A few nights ago I was having a discussion with a friend of mine from the Bronx. He believes New York City (NYC) women, and those from surrounding area are rude and abrasive for no reason. Even when they are approached correctly, they still give a lot of attitude, was his main point. We don’t have to be so mean.

Given, I agree that women from the city of New York have some of the worst attitudes in the United State. I base this on going to an out-of-state college, and coming in contact with women from across the country; and world. We roll our necks a little more, we kiss our teeth a little louder, and ignore men like no other. This is fact; especially black women.

But, this is not because we just want to be bitches. Our aim, at least my aim, is not to be an asshole. You have to accredit it to the environment we grew up in. When I first moved to Atlanta, neighbors used to wave at me while I drove in my car. Strangers would tell me good morning, and men opened and closed doors for me. I was lost. I didn’t know what to do, or even how to respond.

In New York, we are taught to ignore things that don’t involve you, speak only when spoken to, only stare at someone when we wan’t to “pop something off”, mind your business and keep the mean face on at all times. In our society, smiling and being friendly is a sign of weakness. It’s a rough place to grow up in, and as such you have to follow suit.

Also, when your out, and a dude is trying to get your attention the “call” of choice is usually, “Aye ma, ma. Come here. Let me talk to you right quick” or “Aye dark skin/lightskin” or my favorite, “shorty in the (insert color you are wearing)”. On an average day, about 7-12 men try to speak to me. Of that 5 percent of them approach me in a respectable way. The other 95 percent followed the “New York Nigga” handbook. So, when you are accustomed to nonsense, you somewhat program yourself to ignore men, almost blocking out their speech all together.

See, we are not being a bitch to be a bitch; not always. Our environment forced us to put on the mean face, and keep it moving. But, I do agree that NYC women need to work on their poor attitudes, especially when it’s not called for. However, it’s not going to be over night. Bare with them, and if possible teach them better.

Nothing but L OV E
-Mother

Interview Etiquette 101

It’s been a minute, I know. Between work, motherhood, traveling and the little personal life I have left, it is not easy to keep up with a blog. I am still looking for writers, so if interested let me know. However, that’s not the matter at hand. The matter at hand is interview etiquette.

I know I joke a lot. I’m sarcastic, witty and a little rude. But, today I come to you with a serious tone. Today, we discuss the appropriate and inappropriate interview behavior.

Resume

This is one of the fundamental parts of the entire interview and job acceptance process. Matter of fact, it’s probably the most important considering one cannot receive employment without it; at least not at a reputable company. Your resume needs to be intact, if you do not know how to write a proper resume, Google it. Everything can be found on the internet, so cut the bull. On twitter, my homegirl tweeted that someone turned in a handwritten resume to a business office. This is 2011, how DARE you hand write anything? Shit, I had math professors that wanted their work typed up. And I don’t need nor desire to hear that college taught me how to create a resume, because I had one before I even thought about filling out college applications.

Hair, nails and skin

This is a little less obvious, but still in the common sense arena. Ladies and gentlemen, your hair needs to be well maintained. I understand that everyone is a fashionesta nowadays, but save the runway look for you personal time. Take all the bright and multi colors out of your hair. Men, get a fresh cut or trim. If you have braids make sure they’re as neat as possible. I personally think braids are unacceptable after a certain age, but if you must have them, groom them. DO NOT go into anyone’s place of business with an afro. Women, slick your hair back into a bun, or neatly comb it down past your ears. If you’r hair is short, DO NOT put all the crazy curls and designs in it. Neatly curl it under, and brush it into a classic style.

Nails should be cut short, with no nail polish or a light color. None of those crazy designs, different colors on every finger nail, and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE soak those boomerang tips or acrylics off. When you soak them off, and after you’ve had your interview, keep them off. Those things are always unattractive.

As far as your skin, make sure it looks good. Put some lotion on ashy knuckles, throw some moisturizer on the face. Ladies, put on a little concealer and foundation to cover up trouble area, and please keep the make-up to a minimum. You are interviewing for a position in a company, not a drag show. Light lip color and gloss, with a low toned eyeshadow is enough.

Attire

Attire, attire, attire. I am literally shaking my head at the computer screen as I write this. I have seen all kinds of atrocities and business blaspheme enter offices around the country. I am not talking about interviews for hourly positions, or jobs that do not require a resume. I am strictly addressing business/office/professional interviews. However, one should still at least dress business causal for hourly positions.

Take off all the rings, bracelets and chains; one of each is fine. However, you do not want to wear anything gaudy. Take the earrings out. Having 5 earring holes was cute in high school, we are grown now. One moderately sized knob will suffice. Men, no earrings are needed. TAKE THEM OUT!

As for clothing, a black, blue,gray or khaki suit is required, in that order – meaning black being the best option. Ladies, a skirt suit is best, but pants are also acceptable. Your shoes should be very conservative. No open toes, no fancy patterns or designs, just some basic black or dark blue shoes. Of course, black or nude tights – not leggings. Gentlemen, a white shirt and conservative tie should be worn with the suit. I don’t care if you’re androgynous, MEN WEAR PANT SUITS. Black and dark brown shoes for you. None of that alligator, pointy toed mess; just regular church going shoes.

Like I said, this is for professional interviews. Other interviews may allow certain attire and behavior. Follow these basic guidelines, you’ll be alright.

OH YEAH, alway email the interviewer after the interview, just to thank them for meeting with you.

Good

Inappropriate

Hell NO!

Good

Inappropriate

#SitYourAssDown

Nothing but L OV E
-Mother