Twitter is a good avenue for comedic relief. If you want a good laugh, or even an “ah ha” moment, check your timeline. If it’s missing, you may want to reconsider the people you follow. Anywho, I have decide to compile a list of some recent tweets that have done it for me.
I am only adding their twitter names if their page is open. Private people will stay private, although your ratchetness should be exposed.
“if men were straightforward& truthful from the beginning they would avoid so much of our talking/annoying-ness.”
“#rulesforgirls a camels toe is only cute when you wear spandex. If you get one when you wear jeans, you need surgery” -@617Max
“If u love me after 2 weeks, in a year you’ll try to kill me if I left u.” – @SlickNyck
“LYRICwho_ RT @Dr_EZwider: Spell muthafuckin check RT @myyyJodi: RT @MR305don: Alotta niggas got female trates — Lmfao”
“Thank God for my musical talents. Cause I’d be sellin Dick to some rich white lady right now…hmmmm” – @TheBillyBANG
“My uncle sounds like Buju Banton…..he needs to never call me again. Strictly email/text.”
“But my ninja WHY do you smell like two boiled eggs”
“WHen a baby is born ugly, I believe it’s because both parents sined a lot.”
“I don’t trust anyone but my mother #random”
“Be careful when leaving your houses. I nearly busted my ass three different times. Matrix and all”
“RT @xVivaLaJuicyx: & smell like bologna RT @TheBillyBANG RT @SlickNyck I feel like white girls have clammy, dusty puss{cold cut though lmao”
“And now all these women think they have a benz punany… oh ok”
“I don’t think I could ever date a professional sports person. Me: athlete?!” (confused face)
“I eat ass like a main course…. Just dont shit first though.”
